Why Therapy For Your Kids Matters

Your divorce may be absolutely necessary, but divorce frequently disrupts the lives of your children in ways they are unable to cope with.

Even if they seem to be fine, they ought to have the opportunity to talk with someone who will listen to them, not take one parent's side against the other, and simply focus on helping the child to come to terms with what has happened and move forward with being a child.  Children can learn some unhealthy behaviors leading up to a divorce, such as manipulation.  They can be put into awful situations where they are pressured to be loyal to one parent at the expense of the other.  A therapist can help to set the child back on the path to healthy behaviors, and help them cope with inappropriate demands, so that their chances of growing into healthy, happy adults is greater.

Parents should back off and let the therapist do his/her work.  It is inappropriate to try to sway the therapist to take a side or make a recommendation concerning custody.  There are some therapists who are willing to both provide therapy and an assessment (as to custody), but if your child's therapist does not offer both, then you should allow them to focus on the wellbeing of the child and seek another expert to offer an assessment as to custody.

There are also family therapists, who work with the entire family to help improve the relationship between the parents as well as both parents' relationships with their children.  Participation in that form of therapy may be the best gift you can give your children, if it leads to better cooperation and respect between the parents.

Your children deserve the best you can give them, and that means leaving them out of your disputes with their other parent, and doing everything you can to improve your relationship with that parent so that the kids can get on with being kids.